Do you ever look at your horses and think “you could have been so much more, if you weren’t just stuck with me?” Do you ever compare where you and your horses are to where other people and their horses are and think “we aren’t doing enough” and get a little upset at that?

So many times I flip through magazines and I see all these people and horses in tip top shape doing all these big things and I get a little down. I lose motivation and I lose some faith at times. I look at my knowledge and skill level for training, I look at the talent and natural ability of my horses and I think, they could have really gone to the top. I look at them in awe of their natural abilities, in awe of their tolerance and forgiveness for me, and I wonder what they could have done under a compassionate, more skilled teacher. I look at other horses that maybe aren’t as naturally talented working and showing under very talented trainers and doing big things and I think “that could have been my horses” if it weren’t for me. If only I had more money to pay someone to help them, to help me. If only I had more skill, more talent, more, more, more. It is so easy to feel guilty in the horse world, to feel like you’re not enough, you don’t have enough, aren’t doing enough. It’s so easy to downplay your accomplishments because you are too busy judging them against others.

But, isn’t that part of the problem with the horse world anyway? Isn’t this supposed to be FUN? Sometimes I have to force myself to take a step back. Maybe even a lot of steps back and look at my horses; Horses no one wanted because they were labeled “problematic” among other things, due to being under the direction of people who didn’t believe in them, pushed them too hard, had expectations beyond the horses skills, didn’t have enough time for them due to other responsibilities, etc. I have to look, I mean really look at how far they’ve come with only an amateur to teach them. I have to look at myself, where I started to where I am now and the skills I didn’t have in the beginning that I have learned over the years. When I really look at all I have learned since I began my AOT journey, not only out of necessity but also out of sheer determination, then I can see my horses have overcome so many hurdles and proved so many things people have said about them wrong. I have done the same myself. These horses have excelled because I have not given up on them when others did. I have made it a point to learn from anyone I can, find answers any way I can, and I have kept that “try, try again” attitude through setbacks, through failures, through all the highs and lows that come with working with horses. I have to meet them where they are, praise them as they stand, and be proud of how much we have done with so little.

At the end of the day, the horses don’t care. They are happy to stand in a field and eat grass and hay and they are happy to be loved and fed and cared for. THey could care less if we go to a horse show. They could care less what anyone thinks. They are happy to have someone kind to help them learn skills they didn’t even know they needed. They are truly and honestly GOOD boys who try so hard. So what if they could have done more? Others with more skills than myself could have done more for them, but they didn’t. They could have ended up in bad situations but instead, they landed with me: The determined amateur. And I won’t stand for ANYONE to talk poorly of my good boys, even if we accomplish absolutely NOTHING. So, why would I stand for myself looking poorly upon our accomplishments? I need to learn to use that at motivation as we ramp up into show season. There’s always things to learn and always fun to be had.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Learn to be happy as you are, and if you want more, go WORK FOR IT!