As a horse owner, people seem to be so excited by the fact that I have horses at home. Ya’ll, I am excited too.  That is why I put up with cleaning stalls and making sure water isn’t frozen when it’s -2 with a windchill of 15 below zero while I’m feeling stuck somewhere between hypothermia and hell.  That is why when it’s 100 degrees with 80% humidity, I’m mucking stalls at 7am with sweat burning my eyeballs before the real heat of the day actually sets in.  It’s why I am up late and at home on every holiday (especially when fireworks are possible) and why I don’t go to 90% of the events I am invited to. It’s why I have had only one 5 day long vacation away from home in 7 years. It’s why I eat noodles with a jar of sauce dumped on them right before going to bed many days because after working a real job all day, taking care of horses all evening, and attempting to work the horses (and that’s rarely riding), that’s about all the dinner plans I have the energy for.

Inevitably, any time anyone finds out I have horses at home it’s “Can I come ride one” or “Oh, my kid wants to come ride!” almost always followed up by “when the weather is nice” or “when it warms up some” or “when it’s not as hot” or something of the like.  Look you all, I don’t mean to sound mean, but I am going to need you to bring that riding energy and pick up a pitch fork because guess what?  Keeping horses alive to ride isn’t free, it isn’t even cheap nor is it easy.  My horses are not lesson horses and I am not a riding instructor or a training barn.  Not to mention the liability to bring any person or kid onto my personal property to sit on a 1000lb beast who may or may not decide that is the day to try and catapult someone into outer space. 

Please do not misunderstand and let me explain.  I love sharing my horses.  Come visit with them any time.  But chances are, you’re going to be doing so FROM THE GROUND. Pet them, feed them snacks, smell that wonderful horse smell and soak up the joy of just being near an equine.  I get it, horses are not super accessible to a lot of people and I am happy to have people come and enjoy their presence.  My horses LOVE attention from anyone willing to give it and are (generally speaking) safe when enjoyed from the supervised confines of their stalls and even on a limited capacity in their turnout. 

However, unless you’re one of the FEW competent people I trust to pilot my beasts with confidence and control (emphasis on the control part!) I am sorry but I cannot take that risk with your safety or with my liability.  It is not because I am mean.  It is not because I am selfish.  It is not because I don’t want to share the wealth (or complete and utter financial and physical drain) of my horses. It is not because my horses are wild and uncontrollable.

It is because I am a responsible horseman and I know what these creatures are capable of.  I have lived it firsthand since I was six and could barely spell horse.  It is because I have face planted onto various terrain and sustained multiple varying injuries over the years as a result of my desire to straddle a flight animal with no self preservation.  Heck, I think I’ve eaten dirt more than a few times being literally mowed down by them while doing some task near them where I suppose I was perceived to be in their way or they did not pay attention to where they were going.  Horses are dangerous.  I know my risks, I take them by choice, and I will always 100% say “it wasn’t his fault” when shit hits the fan and I get hurt. 

Granted, my boys are pretty good boys, most days.  There could be a very rare occasion I give a kid the joy of being led around (while I cling to the lead rope until my fingers are numb and pray my old man doesn’t decide today is the day to act like he is new again.)  But it is 100% not a regular occurrence and it is not something I regularly offer or allow.  There are also people who are competent riders that take the reins when I know my horses are in consistent work and (hopefully) aren’t going to do any silly business.  Those riders are given the disclaimer that my horses have never been taught to be “dead broke” lesson or trail horses for inexperienced people.  I am not a person who can teach them that and have never tried.  They require direction, feedback, and sometimes correction from their rider to keep them on track doing what they are being asked to do.  But that’s the thing, you must ASK THEM.  Otherwise, they’re off and doing whatever it is they think up in their tiny little brains (which is almost never anything normal). 

“Sorry, but I don’t offer riding lessons or pony rides” gets the rebuttal “But I will pay you” from many.  I am sorry, I am an amateur, not a professional.  In order to stay an amateur, this means I cannot accept compensation in exchange for access to my horses or lessons or instruction of any kind on them.  So no, you will not pay me because I am not ready to compete against trainers who do this for a living riding horses that cost more than everything I own combined. Thank you for the offer, believe me I wish I could accept it because lord knows these things eat their share of money, but I can’t accept it.

If you or your kid just “love horses” and want access to be around them, GREAT!  I encourage you to come visit. Hang out and soak up the equine joy. If you want to learn, pick up a pitch fork, clean a stall, do some barn chores-some of them are pretty easy, I swear! That is the absolute best way to get to know horses.  My favorite time of the day is the calm quiet of morning picking stalls while the horses munch their breakfast.  Come feed, fill hay bags, learn how to bring them in from or put them out in the field safely.  Learn how they exist around you, move to your touch, respond to your existence.  Learn how to properly and safely groom.  And maybe do it not only when the weather is pleasant, because they need the same care in all weather; Rain, snow, sleet, ice, heat – All of it.

If you’re serious about learning to ride?  Find a professional lesson barn who teaches riding lessons on kind, sane, proven lesson horses in a safe environment (with proper insurance for such activities) and get to work. Want more of a one-time or once in a while casual relaxing ride?  Find a trail barn who offers rides on calm consistent horses because I can assure you of one thing: My horses are not casual or relaxing in a general sense of the concept.  While riding horses is and should be fun, it is also a physical activity. The best of the best riders are athletes who put in the WORK to learn appropriate and effective techniques to control a flight animal many times their weight with a brain the size of a walnut and sight much different from our own. The best horses (in my opinion) are thinkers who require input from their rider and respond according to the ask, but left to their own devices are still capable of making decisions (even ones you may sometimes not appreciate).

So please, I beg you, do not make me “be mean” to you, your kid, or anyone else.  If you come at me with “When can I come ride” expect to be disappointed.  If you ask, “Can I come visit the horses?” though?  SURE! Put on your boots (or closed toe shoes) and come on.   The boys are waiting.